The only (lonely?) Jew in El Cajon

Every year, I have this tradition of buying a Chanukah menorah for - you guessed it - Chanukah. It’s not because I’m particularly careless; I don’t keep losing them from the year before. No, it’s just that since I’ve started trying to actually observe the holiday - that is, doing more than just singing the Dreidel song and making Chanukah stockings - I’ve been so busy that I haven’t had time to get a menorah until a night or two before Chanukah; by then, I usually didn’t have a ride out of Northampton, and the only place to find the menorah and candles was at the CVS downtown. The first year this happened, I was fine with my, uh, “rustic” and very wobbly menorah since, hey, it was my first time observing and I was just a poor college student. But, I resolved that I’d do better the next year, save money and buy a proper menorah that didn’t also propose a significant fire hazard, so after Chanukah that first year - and every subsequent year - I ended up giving my menorah to Goodwill. And, of course, the next year I ended up so busy that I bought the exact same menorah two nights before Chanukah; you’d think I’d have learned to just keep the damned thing last year, but no, I gave it to charity again. Because, hey, don’t all the nice Jewish kids go searching the Goodwill for college contraband when the holidays roll around? No?

This year, we actually went out more than a week (gasp!) before Chanukah to get a menorah and candles. First, we tried Target; they’d had some cute ones online, so we figured they’d have at least a few in store. When we got to the store in El Cajon, however, it was a whole other story; not only did they not have any in stock, but I had to explain to at least three salespeople, first what a menorah is (oh, the gestures!) and then what Chanukah is. I think a couple of times I actually broke out into a rousing round of “Let my people go” but I may have blacked out just to preserve my sanity.

That was at about six p.m. on Thursday. After visiting a CVS, a Walgreens, contemplating a Whole Foods, we were desperate. We stopped at Party City, and I’d pretty much resolved myself to the fact that I was the only Jew in El Cajon; a pretty poor excuse for one, but there you have it. But lo’ and behold, the cashier at the Party City was totally this glorious, punky-indie-crunchy Jewish girl, who directed me to yet another Target in the Grossmont Center. A bit of a drive, but we were on a mission.

Apparently, there are multiple Jews in Grossmont (er, La Jolla?); the woman on the phone both knew what a menorah was and told me they had “several” in stock. And they did! Oh, glorious variety! I could be a good Jew once again.

I’m tempted to say that’s the menorah we ended up with, because WHAT COULD BE MORE AWESOME THAN NEON CHANUKAH? but no, we went with something a little simpler, a little more classic, a little less likely to clash with our Christmas tree. Because, really, that’s the important thing - properly assembling your holiday window display to be the perfect balance of Jew, Gentile, and inter-faith tackiness. Right?