A letter to my students

Dear My Students,
I have something to tell you. It’s a confession I’m mildly to moderately ashamed of, but hey, I’m only giving you one more lecture so I might as well tell you, right? Here goes.

I have totally Facebooked/Myspaced you. In fact, I do it pretty regularly. When I’m thinking, ooh, she emailed me today but I don’t remember her name, I’ll look at my roster and try a couple of students who I think are you. Sometimes I get lucky and one of them is actually you and you’re on Facebook or Myspace with a photo, so I have matched the name with the face and I can email you my witty response to your question after class today.

Sometimes, though, I can’t. And since I’m not so great with Myspace, sometimes I just keep futilely clicking “search” after your email address on Myspace, until I realize that “search” actually says “invite” and I’ve probably invited you to Myspace fifty or sixty times now, and that picture of me you’ll see from when I was an undergrad, the year I Did Not Make Good Decisions*? You’ll probably see those. But instead of thinking, “wow, my professor is all cool and funky! Awesome!” you’ll think, “good god, what the hell was going on with her hair? Can human hair even do that?” And I’ll have to tell you, yes, The Science Kid (or The Quiet One or the Ones in Political Science or The One Whose Hair Makes Me Jealous, because even if I remember your name you all totally have nicknames that include “the one” because I, I am a Matrix fan)…

Yes, human hair can actually do that. And also, please join Facebook/Myspace, and make my life easier.

Love,
Professor Director Sheana

*Not Good Decisions revolving primarily around my follicular choices, ca. 2003-2006; exhibit a