Rebecca Walker’s feminism
I’ll start off by saying that I don’t think her recent writings really summarize Rebecca Walker’s feminism, but they do suggest some disheartening things about her take on feminism. I poked around a few blogs and didn’t see many folks talking about this, but perhaps it’s just old news by now. I did see Kevin at Slant Truth had a post about it, and I agree with some of what he said (notably the conclusion).
So, for those who missed it, Rebecca Walker wrote a piece talking about the horrors of her childhood and how feminism dooms women to motherless misery. Those who know me, and my own recently maternal contemplations, know that I’ve certainly grappled with anti-mother/anti-child sentiment in the feminist academic community, but I’ve tended to come to the conclusion that mainstream feminism - as well as truly radical, progressive feminism - affirms motherhood as a choice that women should be free to make. One of the most notable misogynist, anti-feminist gems in the piece?
Then I meet women in their 40s who are devastated because they spent two decades working on a PhD or becoming a partner in a law firm, and they missed out on having a family. Thanks to the feminist movement, they discounted their biological clocks. They’ve missed the opportunity and they’re bereft.
Feminism has betrayed an entire generation of women into childlessness. It is devastating.
Ah, of course - feminism has created generations of godless academic harpies doomed to lesbian spinsterhood because they value their career over reproducing. I like how Walker doesn’t mention the men who won’t have/aren’t interested in having kids, and instead focus on their careers. Being a bachelor has been something honored for decades (centuries?), but when women choose to be single - or child free - it’s “devastating.” Shame on feminism for betraying all of us.
She goes on to speak of how she doesn’t want to hurt her mother, then tells the reader how
My mother would always do what she wanted - for example taking off to Greece for two months in the summer, leaving me with relatives when I was a teenager. Is that independent, or just plain selfish?
Yeah, I’m gonna go with independent on that one. And while I certainly don’t know Walker or know what it was like for her growing up (beyond what she wrote in Black, White and Jewish, anyway - and that’s a whole other post I’ll have to write someday), being left with relatives for two months one summer so your mom can travel seems, well… A little on the low end of horrific parental behavior. I don’t talk about it much, but I grew up poor with a mother who abused drugs and abused me, and even with that I know that there are millions of folks who had much, much harder childhoods - and I’m not going to blame my mother’s issues on any broader political movement of which she may have been a part (though she wasn’t). While I wouldn’t call Alice Walker a shitty parent by any means (again, based on both the memoir and this article), I think it’s ludicrous to ascribe any parenting issues to feminism at large. There are shitty liberal parents, shitty conservative parents, and great liberal and conservative parents. That second-wave (and third-wave) feminisms had their issues doesn’t mean that the movements deceived all women or caused families across the country to fall apart.
A discussion started about Rebecca Walker on a Women’s Studies email list I’m on, and after searching for the article I also bumped into this article on CNN, where Walker uses the laughable term “reverse-sexist” - about as absurd as the concepts of “reverse-racism” and “homosexism” that I’ve heard of.
In retrospect, after reading some of the problematic things she wrote in her memoir, I suppose I shouldn’t have been terribly surprised/disappointed to read these two articles. I’m curious, though - for those familiar with both Alice Walker and Rebecca Walker, what are your thoughts? Does Rebecca identify as a feminist, and if so, is it really feminist to cast women who choose to be child-free as symptoms of a larger, deceptive feminist movement?
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The criticisms of my students would serve as a good warning to visitors of Seeworthy: she talks too fast, she's too hard on us, she assigns too much work, and you have to be a dyke to get a good grade.
In other words, I'm a big, fat, queer, feminist meanie, and I am totally out to get you. Graaagh!
Wasn’t it Rebecca Walker who defined “Third-Wave” feminism?
Personally, I feel much more like a second-wave feminist, never mind that I was born in 1978. Especially after that CNN article (which I saw yesterday) and now this.
No, it’s not fair. As a child-free woman in my 40’s, I don’t consider any kind of deceit on the part of feminism as part of my choice. In fact, I see feminism as having helped give me the freedom to say “I don’t want to have children, period” without having to find the whole town viewing me as some kind of unholy freak, or look upon me as some poor, pathetic soul who must - as everyone does - truly want children, but for some reason God has not yet chosen bless with such, and thus, to deal with the crushing truth, has deluded herself into believing that its some kind of choice. Thank you, Feminists!
Wow, how… very… disappointing. Thanks for posting this.
When my husband and I were just living together, no rings, the big question was “So, when are you getting married?” Now that we’re married, the big question is “So, when are you having kids?” The fact that we both don’t want children of our own baffles the mind, especially the fact that I wouldn’t want kids. I usually get a few patronizing “Oh, you’ll change your mind later” kinds of comments. Because isn’t that what every woman dreams of? Becoming a mother? *cue eye roll here*
I’m surprised by and feel for Rebecca Walker for what sounds like a very empty childhood, but is it really appropriate for her to lash out at her mother in such a public and demeaning way? And I think her hurt and anger are causing her to conflate her mother with all feminists; feminism, after all, is an easier target to focus one’s rage on than one’s own mother.
Personally, while I have so many issues with Second Wave feminism at the moment, I think Rebecca’s article, and her work since the schism ‘Black, White and Jewish’ caused, has really been one big double bird to her mother. It’s not about feminism, and it’s not about parenting, it’s about Rebecca and Alice. It’s about how Alice can’t accept that Rebecca was unhappy as a child, and how Rebecca thinks it’s healthy to continue to publically air dirty laundry and prove to the world that she’s gonna be a better mom than hers EVER WAS SO THERE.
Unfortunately, now feminism’s been dragged into it, and I just wish someone would tell Rebecca that her mother isn’t representative of a whole movement. Just like Rebecca herself isn’t representative of a whole movement. That’s how feminism needs to be in the 21st century–an acceptance that under the umbrella, feminism is different for each person and each person’s issues.
When I was in my teens and 20s, like so many other young women, I couldn’t wait to be a mom. I was definitely romanticizing it. I also told myself there would be no children without marriage.
But then when I turned 30, I decided that I did not want children. Of course, I also don’t have a man, but I hope when one decides that “hey, Bree, let’s get together,” he won’t want kids as well. I have no problems admitting that I am not psychologically ready to be a mom, and I’m not at a stable financial level yet. I would never bring a child into this world without being able to care for them both emotionally and fiancially. My family is very much okay with this, especially my mom, who while I know would make a super grandma, being a grandma is not her biggest desire in life.
But society defines a woman’s worth by our reproductive parts and if we choose not to use them, we are labeled selfish. To which I reply, what is more selfish? Knowing you do not want children, or having them and then they are being raised in a less-than stable environment, one they don’t deserve and didn’t ask for?
I understand where Rebecca is coming from. I’ve always felt
that my parents favored my thin brother over me. The way
that they’ve treated me and him says a lot about us in terms
of our self-esteem and accomplishments. I’m 29 years old and
still trying to get my life together. He’s 23 years old and
just been offered a job with a top-notch marketing company.
The difference between us? He’s much less spiritual than I am.
I see now where I’ve made my mistakes.
It’s not about feminism, and it’s not about parenting, it’s about Rebecca and Alice.
Exactly. I had a very contentious relationship with my mother until just a few years ago, so I feel for Rebecca. But my own mother REFUSES to be called a feminist - she still insists women burned their bras in the 70s even though I told her that never happened - which goes to show that feminism isn’t necessarily the cause here, just a correlation and perhaps even an irrelevant one at that.
now now, some of my best friends are “godless academic harpies doomed to lesbian spinsterhood.” also, that turn of phrase FTW.
I posted about this, when this article first came out. I think that she has a problem with her mother and has conflated the issue with feminism. Of course a large part of this has to do with the social construction of motherhood. Mothers are supposed to be always patient, kind self-sacrificing and all of that other nonsense. There is no real room for a living breathing faulty human being that is just trying to get by. Though Rebecca may think that she is a top mom, I challenge her to look back in a few years when her son tells her that she is the reason he is in therapy. Mothers get blamed for everything whether or not they are guilty. All the charges that she lays at her mothers feet, may one day be laid at hers.